I am an independent woman with a career that I love. I work hard every day, but yes I've been Snow White for Halloween once or 900 times and had quite the hot pink barbie case/corvette/dreamhouse/etc. It might shock you that I, like many girls that live in reality, was raised playing with Barbies and idolizing Disney princesses, despite my work ethic and financial independence. Gah, wait what? (Cue the Tim the Toolman GAHHUUUUUH)
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Anti Princess and Barbie sentiments have resulted from measureless opportunities for grassroots, um, bunch of people screaming together about the same thing.
Negative outreach groups on social media demonize poor Barbie, and even claim that all Disney princesses are actually teaching girls only one lesson in sexism: “Don't worry, someday a prince will come and save you!” But in reality, there are much deeper lessons.. Usually they have something to do with the villans too.. After alll, Princess Maleficent does have a nice kind of ring to it..
Barbie
The Real Lesson: Follow Your Dreams and You Can Have it All
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This one is simple. Barbie teaches girls that they can do anything. And if a job doesn't work out, you can do literally anything else in the world. Now, I learned the hard way that Pre-Med wasn't for me, but Barbie taught me that it's okay, and there are other jobs with cuter outfits anyway. Did I grow up thinking that I was going to look like my dolls? No, because I, like most Kindergarteners, understand the difference between real life and make believe. Is putting more realistic proportions on dolls going to make girls less anorexic? Is anything in life ever that simple? The fact of the matter is that men are attractive to women, not dolls. Stop blaming Barbie. Please. She has over 150 jobs.
Cinderella
The Real Lessons:
There is Always a Silver Lining
Stay Positive
It Gets Better
Disney
If you watch Cinderella and your takeaway from it was “Wow, what a small waist and symmetrical features she has,” or even more absurdly, “maybe someday a man will save me,” you were watching the movie wrong.. and probably should talk to a professional. Ya see, Cinderella isn't real. In fact, Disney's Cinderella is a cartoon!
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Cinderella taught me to always look for the silver lining, despite how bad things might actually seem. If you work hard and stay positive, things will work out for you in the end. If you think it has to come in the form of a literal prince who comes and finds your shoe that you lost after you twerked it off, you may die waiting for that to happen. The prince wasn't the point. The lesson is “Work hard and you shall be rewarded,” not, “Wait it out and a man will fix your terrible life.”
Furthermore, Cinderella taught us that anyone can be beautiful enough to go to the ball if you keep your heart open enough for your friends to help. Plus, who doesn't love a good makeover?
So that brings us to the “Evil” Stepmother. This postmodern archetype has existed since the invention of divorce, but likely even earlier than that. It's so ubiquitous that psychologists have a term for it, “Outsider Syndrome.”
But the point of this article is not to dazzle you with science facts. After all, what did Disney's Evil Stepmother really do that was so awful? Make her daughter work and contribute around the house so that she won't drop out of school like an entitled millennial waiting for a handout.
In a new Dove Campaign,women were asked to basically organize themselves into two categories: Beautiful or Average. Do you think Cinderella, even at her most homely would have entered the “AVERAGE” door? No way! She not only has a powerful work ethic, but she is confident enough in her looks to let the household rodents be in charge of her makeover.
Snow White
The Real Lessons:
Nature is Your Friend
Singing Makes You Happy
A Gang of Unlikely Friends Can Save Your Life
Snow White is one of the most popularly demonized princesses, incidentally she is also my personal favorite, as many of you who have participated in a Halloween with me in the past very well know. Sure, she might literally sing, “I'm wishing for the one I love,” into an actual wishing well, but she is really asking to be loved, not for a man to step in and make her a rich princess. Is that really so bad?
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So okay, in this case it actually works and he hears her and comes forth. Again, it's a cartoon. These things happen.
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“That's bullshit.”
Here we find the unlikely hero: The Wicked Queen calling shenannigans on this impossible coincidence. You don't get to wish for a prince and he comes!
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Snow White also teaches us that if we sing, we will feel better. According to science, that's not such a crazy idea. Singing actually releases “feel good” endorphins that make you happy.
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Do people think it's sexist that Snow White automatically cleans the house she broke into? Sure, but did she even clean it on her own? We all know there's no such thing as free rent. Snow was just pulling her weight, and besides, her animal friends did most of the work anyway.
Again we see that music can make even the dullest tasks bearable. Think about that next time you clean your apartment while simultaneously having a Taylor Swift dance party for one.
Princess Jasmine
The Real Lessons:
Be Independent
Keep Your Heart Open to Other Classes of People
Be Your Own Person
Men Lie to Impress You
Disney
Arguably the most feminist of all the princesses is Jasmine. The daughter of the Sultan of Agrabah was frustrated with being told what to do, and in an effort to seek her own independence, fled the kingdom to start her own life in the mean streets fictional Persian Agrabah.
She meets Aladdin on the street and he gets her out of a jam. They quickly find that they share the same dreams, and all is good and well until Jafar shows up for some necessary conflict. Long story short, Aladdin learns Jasmine's true identity and uses one of his wishes to make himself a prince, so the he can be a suitable Prince for her.
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“The Magic Carpet should have been a dead giveaway.”
Jasmine is completely fooled by Aladdin's facade much like millions of American daters are fooled every day.
"So, get this, I told her I was a prince!"
Jafar steps in to blow up his spot like Nev and Max exposing an insidious Catfish.
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Ultimately, Jasmine teaches her narrow minded father that commoners are worthy of love, and lives happily ever after with Aladdin. Even if he DID lie to her about having money.
Aurora
The Lesson: Death is Preferable to the Prison of Arranged Marriage
Disney
The birth of Aurora, Sleeping Beauty, was a miracle for her kingdom. Her parents, the king and queen, tried for years to have a child to no avail, and finally, a miracle was conceived. The king and queen arranged at her christening celebration for Aurora to be married to Prince Phillip, as it would very conveniently link their kingdoms. But who storms in at an opportune time to try and stop this ill-consented coupling? Maleficent. When Maleficent arrives, the King and Queen rudely make her feel unwanted. Why would anyone insult a powerful witch, with limitless powers and magic at such a miraculous occasion? While she turns to leave, the Queen very arrogantly asks Maleficent if she is offended. Maleficent responds to the queen's rhetoric in typical evil witch fashion: She curses Aurora to die on her sixteenth birthday after pricking her finger on a spinning wheel.
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Does Maleficent really curse Aurora to die, or does she actually offer mystical sanctuary from the prison of arranged marriage?
Ariel
The Real Lessons:
The Humanity of Tolerance
The World is Bigger than You Know
Question Your World
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"The Little Mermaid" is nothing more than one Fish's quest to find humanity. She is a princess with everything she could ever want. But what if Ariel wants something that cannot be hoarded in with her cache of treasures?
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Without humanity, you have nothing. Ariel wasn't just wishing to be human, she was dreaming of a world with genuine humanity.
What kind of world deems your aunt Ursula a witch just because of.. well.. maybe it's because she's different. Ariel is desperate for a better world. A world where your weird overweight aunt with an affinity for witchcraft can be accepted. Besides, wasn't it the “Sea Witch,” that actually gave Ariel the opportunity to experience what it is like to be human? If it was up to King Triton, Ariel would exist forever in her underwater dystopia.
Belle
The Real Lessons:
Reading Books Will Open Your Mind
Men Love the Thrill of the Chase
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Belle is the celebrated nonconformist princess; the “most feminist” of the Disney Princesses, maybe because like, she reads. So if reading makes you a nonconformist.... congratulations, you can read this, you rebel!
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“Isn't this amazing? A Woman with a book!”
Oh yeah then Belle is kidnapped by an evil man-beast. But here's where it gets interesting. We want to assume that the monster is the bad guy, when really, the villain is supposed to be this white man Gaston.
Disney
Gaston is the village ladies man, for reasons unknown. All the women love him with the exception of Belle, who chooses to live a life of wonder and literacy, or maybe she's just not quite ready to get tied down yet. Gaston, desperately chasing what he can't have, is committed to do whatever it takes to win Belle's heart. Really, it's not even his fault. According to science, men will always prefer the thrill of the chase. Is he really such a bad guy?
Disney
Okay, back to the manbeast. He actually WAS a prince. The beast was bewitched into his beastly form after refusing to help a woman in need. The enchantress was disguised as a beggar in need and offered the prince a rose in exchange for shelter from the biting cold in his posh castle. He arrogantly refused the offer, and she consequently transformed the prince into a beast.. But.. then.. why didn't she just transform a warm place to sleep from the beginning? I guess then the story wouldn't have the same karmic charm. Isn't he really the villain? Imagine Gaston in his same situation: sitting alone in his castle one cold night, and there's a knock at the door. Another admirer to stroke his ego PLUS a rose? Pretty good deal. So the enchantress also provided the beast with a quest and a magic mirror that can very conveniently see faraway events and a magic rose. If he can find someone to love him before the petals fall, he can be a prince again.. So whose the desperate one now, Gaston, or Beasty?
By the way, who is the one that actually makes it his mission to save Belle from her Stockholm syndrome? Gaston. And he does.
